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www.TheJRE.com Presents
JRE Content Coverage Center :
JRE Brewhouse
Thomas Hardy's Ale
Reporting by Modus
 So
this is my first JRE Brewhouse review. It’s been a while since
any of the JREmen wrote about the fine brews of the world, but don’t
take that to mean we’ve stopped drinking. No sir! Quite the contrary,
indeed. For you see, the JREmen have merely been too drunk to write
anything sensible on the subject. Fortunately for you, faithful reader,
I have ventured into a dark place. A sinister hollow of consumables
if you will.
Now, I won’t follow Keyan’s Taddy Porter review to the letter
as far as format goes but I will measure this beverage in standard JRE
metrics such as drinkability, drunkability, and fightability. They are,
after all, respectable measurements that are easily quantifiable if
you’re a true thug.
Where to start? Well, Thomas Hardy’s Ale comes in a small bottle
at 8.5 fluid ounces. At 11.7% ABV it should have a high rating in the
drunkability category. Unfortunately it is not as high scoring in the
drinkability category since it tastes like hot fresh monkey ass.
Ok – so maybe I can be a little more specific… it tastes
like hot fresh monkey ass on a Thursday afternoon when then wind is
blowing at a steady 5 knots and sun is rising in the East. Or cough
syrup. You know, whatever. Maybe I’m being unfair but I couldn’t
find one quality of this brew that I could honestly appreciate. I can
usually hang with a good, stout ale - which isn’t my typical preference
when it comes to drinking beer. They typically go good with a meal I
think, or as a dessert beer. This one, however, simply served to ruin
my appetite. It was supposed to be aged much like wine, which must have
been why the price tag was a staggering $11 per bottle (price varies
by age).
The packaging was definitely unique. The neck of the bottle wore a gold
medallion which earns a point in my book on style alone, but like most
things that wear medallions, what lies underneath was not a good thing…
Also, the process of how you’re intended to pour and enjoy the
beer I found to be interesting. You’re supposed to let the beer
sit upright, undisturbed, for at least 48 hours to let it settle. Served
chilled and poured slowly in a glass. There’s almost no head and
no carbonation.
I can see how some people might enjoy this beer, but honestly, for me
I’d just go buy a bottle of scotch if I wanted hard liquor, instead
of trying to pass it off as beer…
By way of default I cannot award this beer with the highly coveted “JRE
Fightability Seal of Approval”, unless you count wanted to punch
this Hardy guy in the face after tricking you into buying his lousy
beer. Then I could give it props in that regard.
Buy this beer to try it once if you’re a real beer connoisseur.
Do it for the experience. Otherwise I wouldn’t recommend it to
the casual beer drinker. Friends don’t let friends drink Thomas
Hardy’s Ale.
Moduserous Skipwallace XVIII
Bravado In Chief
JRE Thug Division - Core Elite
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