By ModusPublished: 03 July 2009 6:06 PM CDTPosted in: Featured Articles, First Impressions, Video Games After I got bored with The Conduit and started using it as a drink coaster I turned my attention to some of the Wii Ware on offer. It’s been a long while since I bothered to look on the Nintendo’s downloadable offerings. I’m not huge on legacy games.
I was suprised at all the new and different titles on tap now compared to a year ago when I would make a habit of checking into everything the Wii’s online service had to offer. One title that stood out to me was World of Goo. A cousin of mine had played it to death when it first came out (he’s a physics nut) and I always blew it off. That was a mistake.
Read the rest of this entry »
By Keyan ReidPublished: 03 July 2009 2:01 PM CDTPosted in: Game News, Video Games 
A recent article on Opposable Thumbs cites the possibility that the upcoming No More Heroes sequel – Desperate Struggle – may be the last one to come to the Wii.
This is a good thing.
I never finished the original NMH. It seemed like a pretty good game for the Wii, with a messed up – but funny – storyline, a novel approach to the action, and some large ambitions in store. But the game most certainly seemed too big for its britches. The graphics were blocky, the controls were a waggle-fest, and the segregated city free-roaming was laughable when compared to even the now 8 years old Grand Theft Auto 3. Long story short, NHM had a lot of good ideas, but clearly lacked the space and power to properly execute them.
Read the rest of this entry »
By Tink De La PinkPublished: 03 July 2009 1:03 PM CDTPosted in: Delusions of Gaming 
As my FPS Challenged schooling has progressed, Keyan has taught me the basics as well as some new tricks (even if it was through pure Dicketry). When Day Three arrived I was ready for anything. Like, trying to play a game while blindfolded with a broken controller while sharks with lasers attached to their heads were crawling around on metal legs and tracking me through a mine field. You know, just a little something Keyan might think up on the fly.
When he stormed in and simply asked me if I finished Prey, I was a little jumpy. This was too easy. Impatient (as always) he assumed I’d blown off the homework he’d given me (which I did) and didn’t wait for an answer. He told me my next assignment would be to go “Lone Wolf” and finish Prey on my own. Then he slammed the door.
Lone Wolf? As a Lady Thug I thought it only proper to adapt and go as a Sexy Lone Fox. I knew I’d kick this game’s ass proper on my own. So I popped in the disc and got ready to show Prey what a Sexy Lone Fox could do.
Read the rest of this entry »
By Keyan ReidPublished: 02 July 2009 4:17 PM CDTPosted in: Keyan's Work 
As anyone who works anywhere near a computer knows, one of the best ways to wantonly and blessedly waste time without consequence is to say that whatever you are working on is ‘compiling’. Compiling can be a very CPU intensive process that will bring your PC to it’s knees, so it makes it perfectly acceptable to goof off while that’s happening.
Of course, this was a much more plausible excuse back in the 80s and 90s. Today, with all the quad-cores and such out there, compiling can happen in seconds. Thankfully, not everyone knows that. But unfortunately, my boss here at the waffle iron factory has been out due to an unprovoked heart attack (the pansy), so I’ve been dealing with his interrim replacement instead. And apparently, she actually knows what compiling is.
I forget what this woman’s name is. Probably because I never learned it in the first place. But regardless, when she approached my desk as I read webcomics, I was prepared for whatever she was setting up to do.
Read the rest of this entry »
By Tink De La PinkPublished: 02 July 2009 2:42 PM CDTPosted in: First Impressions, Video Games 
Oh my, what a bad Lady Thug I’ve been, neglecting you fine readers. However, I am a Super Secret Field Operative for the TNA Squad, and as such, I am required to be absent from my wonderful home here in JREica from time to time.
Never fear Thugs! Gaming goes on! I have found an awesome little treasure for you on XBox Live Arcade. Cloning Clyde is a hilarious action side-scroller, brought by Ninjabee.com, that allows you to Kung Fu your way out of a crazy top security facility while, you guessed it: cloning yourself. Oh, but would I bring your attention to a game that simple?
Read the rest of this entry »
By Keyan ReidPublished: 02 July 2009 1:49 PM CDTPosted in: Game News, Video Games 
Upon reading the gaming news this morning, I thought to myself, “Is Hollywood’s trend of abhorrent game-to-film adaptions so bad that they can no longer approach any franchise with any semblance of a story?”
The answer is: Yes. Case in point – Asteriods – the Movie!
Read the rest of this entry »
By ModusPublished: 02 July 2009 1:31 PM CDTPosted in: Game Trailers, Video Games 
The developers of the Splinter Cell series and the latest upcoming entry to the franchise Splinter Cell: Conviction talk about how they’re reinventing the series based on playtesting of the games prior.
This is a classic Ubisoft approach – they always say they’re reinventing Splinter Cell’s single player and multiplayer experience to make it more fun and immersive but somehow they keep moving away from the spectacularPandora Tomorrow.
Read the rest of this entry »
By Keyan ReidPublished: 01 July 2009 4:21 PM CDTPosted in: Game News, Video Games 
Yesterday, somebody struck up a conversation with me about iPhone games. And it didn’t take long to see that the entire discussion was pointed at bringing up the new Doom game recently released to the App Store.
The first new, original entry to the Doom franchise since Doom 3 (which, in the humble opinion of this particular professional hero, sucked monkey balls), Doom Resurrection is a strictly on-rails shooter. And while the game is very well rendered and has been receiving a lot of praise, the $10 price tag (with no available trial version) is preventing me from giving this thing a shot.
Read the rest of this entry »
By ModusPublished: 01 July 2009 2:20 PM CDTPosted in: Revelations 
Beginning July 31st through August 1st in Portland Oregon marks the calendar for the CGDC – or Christian Game Developers Conference. Truly an evil has been unleashed upon our fair world of video games.
This will be the 8th Annual CGDC now (who goes to this show?), which claims growth in their attendance. As I read through the press release for this I got to thinking – maybe it’s time The JRE start showcasing their ideas for games – and what a better venue to get the attention we want than a Christian Game Developers Conference.
Read the rest of this entry »
By Keyan ReidPublished: 01 July 2009 12:10 PM CDTPosted in: Revelations Right now, there is a petition making the rounds aimed at getting Blizzard to include LAN support in the someday-to-be-released Starcraft 2. And while the 10-year old original Starcraft no doubt made extended use of LAN functionality, I have to say that I’m wondering what all the fuss is about here.
Admittedly, I’ve never played Starcraft. I’ve played many other RTS titles, and many other sci-fi titles, but no Starcraft. But still, in 2009, how many people actually play on a LAN anymore? Even at Boomcreek, where Dr. V and myself both have Xbox 360’s that we play at the same time on Jam Nights, we are going through Xbox Live for our multiplayer. And it works just fine.
Read the rest of this entry »
By ModusPublished: 01 July 2009 8:11 AM CDTPosted in: Game News, Video Games 
Well – the title of this post pretty much says it all… or does it? Uh – well yeah it sort of does doesn’t it? But shut up and keep reading anyway! Or I’ll read it for you!!!
Worms 2: Armageddon just released for the XBOX Live Arcade and from what I’ve played of the original Worms it’s going to be well received. You see – these worms? These worms right here? They’re tough and they don’t take no shit – uh – except when they’re locomoting through manure and aerating soil of course.
So what’s new in this installed of the Worms franchise?
Read the rest of this entry »
By Keyan ReidPublished: 30 June 2009 4:50 PM CDTPosted in: Keyan's Work The other day, I was enjoying myself at home, playing some videogames. As I pleasantly went about my business, blowing stuff up and delivering unprecedented amounts of hot murder in some online multiplayer, my phone abruptly began ringing.
“Thug Master Central. This is Thuggy K, the aforementioned Thug Master. What do you want?” I said upon answering.
“Keyan? Is that you?”
“No. The ‘K’ in ‘Thuggy K’ is for ‘Kryptonian Superman of pure Power Awesome, retard.” There was nothing but silence for a moment. “Of course it’s me.”
“Keyan, you were supposed to be in the office five hours ago. Where the hell are you?” Upon pulling the phone away to check the number, I realized it was my boss at the waffle iron factory. What a dick.
Read the rest of this entry »
By Tink De La PinkPublished: 30 June 2009 11:26 AM CDTPosted in: Revelations Everyone at the JRE knows that I am The Navigator around here. Any time the Core Elites feel like going on an adventure or need to complete a mission outside of JREica, they’ve got to pick me up in the Keyanmobile so I can make sure they get to and from their destination.
Those Core Elites do take me on quite the adventures. And, the morons outside of our little slice of heaven are always trying to outwit me. However, as the great navigator for the Core Elites and a Super Secret Field Operative for the TNA Squad, it’s quite a feat to get the better of me and throw me off course.
This last little excursion was supposed to be a simple snatch and run mission. Keyan just wanted to grab up one of the developers from Behemoth and make him produce the Necromancer Pack for Castle Crashers. Modus was there to help with some of the more delicate “persuasion” techniques they usually use.
Read the rest of this entry »
By ModusPublished: 30 June 2009 10:11 AM CDTPosted in: Featured Articles, JREview - Games, Video Games It took me a good five minutes to get the caked on layer of dust cleaned away from my Nintendo Wii when I went to pop The Conduit in. I almost forgot I owned the system as I hardly ever play it.
But for once in quite some time, a title has been released that earned my attention, and after having seen it in action at E3, I was determined to pick up the Wiimote and Nunchuk and blast some alien scum! So what’s the score for Sega and High Voltage Software’s The Conduit?
Read the rest of this entry »
By Keyan ReidPublished: 29 June 2009 4:44 PM CDTPosted in: Featured Articles, Keyan's Work “How did it come to this?” I asked my assembled teammates as we huddled at our bench.
Our bitter struggle in the game of Death Ball had taken a dire turn. With only five minutes left on the clock, Nerdcorp was leading with a 7-6 score. My team of proud JREicans had fought bravely, but we were now whittled down to a mere skeleton crew, consisting of my Thug Division Core Elites, Danforth Jenkins, and a pair of interns. The dozens of other players we’d started the game with now littered the field with their corpses.
“Well, if by ‘how did it come to this’, you mean, why do we have so few players left, I can tell you exactly why that is.” Modus said.
Read the rest of this entry »
